January 18th 2007
On Thursday, January 18, 2007, Coach Ben Gonzalez with I N' Motion Boxing has passed away in a tragic car accident in Norfolk, Virginia on his way back home to us in Richmond. No words can express our loss of Ben - we are all devastated. Ben brought character, skill, drive, and lots of love to everyone with I N' Motion and outside the program. He made you work for your punch count accuracy when you fought him, and made you work to find his mitts in class. I loved that man as you all did too. Jeff and Frank Riley were there with him from day #1 at Swiftcreek 4 years ago when Ben first came to me. He wanted back into boxing - I told him he came to the right place, and a relationship unfolded that I would trade no amount of money for. Ben was the hardest working man you'd ever meet in your life - he was "The Machine", and yet he'd find time to catch you between trips to say hi, coach a corner, give advise, or have a drink. This is that rest you always talked about Ben - rest well and smile upon us - we will miss your presence always and memorialize every chance we get brother. Ben, if you ever wanted to know what love was, just have a peek at us right now. We are a mess, I am a mess, we all miss you.
All love from I N' Motion Boxing's members, and future members
Greg and Jen Roberts
January 20th 2007
I am posting this in the heartfelt memory of "Dr" Ben Gonzales. Ben was an excellent boxing coach, a mans man and an even better friend to us all. Before he passed Ben was active as a tireless coach, student and loving father.
Ben died in a car accident a few days ago. I boxed with him 3 times a week and even got the "old man" to do a little CF from time to time. Ben was always up for any workout or holding pads, being a friend or just sharing a laugh.
To coaches Greg and Je n I am so sorry for the loss of your old friend. To all those in CF land I wish you had the pleasure to meet the man.
We miss you terribly Ben....and Ben when you hear the gloves hit the pads where ever you are...we are singing your praises.
Ricky
January 21st 2007
There are very few times in one’s life where you meet someone who, just at the instant you meet them, you know what kind of person they are. Ben was one of those people. The moment I met him I knew that he was the type of person that becomes a true friend.
He had a kindness that I will never forget because it was a kindness you felt every time you talked to him. Nothing was ever about him. He always was looking out for someone else to make sure their day was going well. And if it wasn’t going well, he was going to make you forget about it by making you laugh and just telling you that it was going to get better. But by time he told you that, it was already better just being in his presence.
Ben, I will always remember your laugh, and I will do your 20 push-ups every time your late to class. We will never forget the times with you. And I know you’ll always be in our corner telling us to keep fighting. Just like you did.
Jim
January 21st 2007
BEAUTIFUL! Ben was truly a Beautiful person.
Most of the IN' Motion family only knew him as Coach Ben. But did you know that he was a father? He worked full time and was taking classes to complete his degree. He commuted everyday to Norfolk/VA Beach area, just to rush back to coach boxing. He was reserved in class and some may not have known, but he was extremely intelligent and very articulate! He played musical instruments and was a wiz with computers and software. He was a self-educated man. Everything he knew, he taught himself. He was a plethora of knowledge. There was nothing he couldn't do.
He was Responsible. I can't tell you how many times he turned down going out on a Friday or Saturday night, just to stay home and study for classes. He was Committed....to his job, to his studies, to IN' Motion. Did you know, that Ben use to work in the West End, and after a long, hard day of work, he would rush to the 6 PM boxing class in Colonial Heights? Just to help out, for free.
He was Joy. I never heard him complain about anything, he always had a positive-mental attitude.
He was a Philosopher. I can't begin to tell you the countless hours we spent discussing the issues of the world. We were getting close to figuring out life's secrets.... why night falls, but day breaks. We tried to rationalize how someone could be "beside them self" w/out actually being beside them self - Coach Jen started that one. We finally got the answer to that mystery at the Comedy Club on Coach Greg's B-day party -- Siamese Twins joined at the hand, can actually be beside them self. :)
Ben was a Comedian! He is one of the funniest people I've ever known. He was quick-witted and had a great sense of humor. He could find humor everywhere. He loved to laugh. I can still picture his beautiful smile and the laughter in his eyes, that he had every time he stepped in front of me to hold pads. We both always had a grin on our faces with the anticipation of one of us making a silly comment and messing up the combination. We always cracked each other up. "You sure do got a purdy mouth"!
He was Stable. He was always calm and cool. I remember hanging out with Ben, and just his presence alone had a calming effect on me. True story.... a few years ago, Ben and myself went out on a Saturday night. We hit several clubs - we had a great time and neither one of us had a single drink. That's right, no Red-bull & Skyy. Shocking, huh? He made me feel like a better person when I was around him. I believe Ben brought balance into people's lives. I believe this is why so many of us gravitated towards him.
He was Self-less. He took time for everyone, always! He took care of himself, but he was always helping others. He never met a stranger.
He was Tireless! He was taking classes to complete his education. He was commuting 3-4 hours a day to work and back. He coached boxing 3 times a week. Not to mention traveling to SW Virginia and NY to see family all the time. He somehow found time for his friends and personal life. I remember several conversations about his commute. We analyzed it: 20 hrs a week driving, gas expense, wear/tear on the vehicle, not to mention the lack of sleep. I recently told Ben that I didn't know how he did it. Ben simply replied: "I don't do it for the money. I do it because of the friendships and family I have developed with the people inside of the IN' Motion boxing program". He stated even if he did move to the VA Beach area, that he would still come back to coach (maybe not 3 times a week), but we were part of his life, and he didn't want to stop.
I truly feel blessed to have met Ben and gotten to the know the wonderful, compassionate person he is. I'm thankful that he came into my life.
Ben, you truly are Beautiful! We all love you & miss you deeply.
Forever Friends,
Jeff
PS, if Ben played the bass, then why was he always playing the "air drums" just before abs? :)
January 22nd 2007
My name is Cynthia Avila; I worked with Ben at LoanCare. We were told of his death on Friday afternoon. Our Customer Service Department was closed down at 4pm because the announcement was so devastating. I can’t begin to tell you what a shock it was to all of us and will continue to be. Some of us couldn’t drive and had to get someone to take us home. This is how close this man was to our little family.
He came to work in our office in June last year; and into an all female department. At first we thought oh no a man…this won’t work! But his personality was amazing! Truly different, we took to him right away, no problems! He was always smiling, you never saw him upset or angry, always that smile. Came in everyday and made sure he said good morning to you.
I know that tomorrow (Monday) will be hard on all of us. He has a pair of boxing gloves hanging in his office and a note on his desk that says ‘I am a man not a machine’ I wish the gloves could stay right where they are. He was one of the good guys and will be deeply missed….
Cynthia Avila
January 22nd 2007
Ben was not only a great coach, but he also was a great friend who I went to often for advice. He was always willing to lend a helping hand with any problem that I had, not only with boxing, but with personal affairs. I've know Ben for about 3 years, and lived down the street from him for about a year. When I first met him, like Jeff said, Ben never met a stranger. We hit it off instantly, he was generally a good person both on the inside and out. Ben was not only a great guy, but he was highly motivated and very inspirational. Whenever I thought life was hard or rough I thought about what he does everyday. Ben commuted from Virginia to Norfolk to work full time, rush back to coach, while at the same time studying for classes and also found the time to become a great father. He was talented in many areas, one of which included playing the bass guitar. I remembered when I got back in town we kep t saying that we were going to find time to meet up and catch up on things, but I guess that time has passed. This just proves how you can be here one day and gone the next. My heart goes out to him and his family. Like Coach Greg said, you will be missed.
Caroline Ogunware
January 23rd 2007
I'm new to the inmotion family, but since I've been here I felt nothing but love. When I got the news I was in denial, I did not want to believe that someone so genuine could be gone. It finally hit me at the start of Saturday's class, everyone was there but Ben. I feel sorry for the people that won't get to meet him.
God looked down on your body,
So tired from hanging on,
From a life that was overwhelming you,
And wanted back His son.
So he took away the air you breathe,
And gave you what was best,
A place to be at peace,
A final place to rest.
Daniel
January 23rd 2007
My name is Mary Lane and Ben was one of our supervisors at LoanCare. Ben exemplified leadership, but somehow managed to still maintain friendships. He was a man of integrity (which was reflected through his walk and his talk). He worked so deligently to make sure he impacted everyone and everything he touched.
Ben was only with our department for seven months. It just hit me today, that seven is a number of completion. Ben made so much change in the moral of our department in just seven months. God gave him an incredible gift. There was something missing before Ben got to LoanCare, and all of a sudden that void was filled. I feel confident in saying the change he made will forever impact our department and that Ben lives on in each and every one of our hearts.
Ben will forever be in our hearts. I know that God rewarded him with that well known biblical phrase: "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Mary Augustus-Lane
Special Loans
LoanCare Servicing Center
January 24th 2007
Hello,
I was truly devastated when I heard about Ben. Ben was unique and special, and yet he always said to me that “I am just an average Joe.” No way was Ben just average. He was so kind, sweet, soft spoken and powerful in character. I met Ben at SunCom in 2001 and we instantly became friends. We often talked about his dreams, the things he loved the most, and of course boxing.
Ben will truly be missed, as he was so very special in the lives of everyone he touched. Ben, I will always love you and treasure the times we spent together.
To Ben’s family and beautiful daughter: My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult time. You have my deepest sympathy. May God bless you and hold you in His loving arms to comfort you.
Loretta Dozier
PERCS Team Leader
Accounts Receivable
Progressive Group Alliance
7420 Ranco Road
Richmond, VA 23228
January 24th 2007
Ben was always a sweet, gentle soul. He had the type of personality that warmed up a room whenever he entered. When Ben Gonzalez arrived, you just knew you were in for a good time. It didn’t matter what you were doing, Ben’s presence just made the event a little more enjoyable.
Ben had the type of smile that made you think he knew something you didn’t. He always had the face of a kid who just snuck a cookie out of the cookie jar before dinner. I asked him one time if he was hiding a secret. With out hesitation, Ben leaned over to me and whispered close into my ear “Skylor…I’m Batman!”
Anytime you talked with Ben you left with his big smile upon your own face. He just brought the good out of everyone’s soul. Ben was warm like that.
When I think about Ben, he kind of reminded me of a fart in bed... Ben warmed you up just by being there.
I remember talking with Ben on many occasions. Most of our “highly intellectual” conversations happened moments before we worked out at the gym. Our many debates revolved around “epically significant” issues like “could Jesus make a burrito so hot that even he could not eat it?” or “I wish I had superpowers…cause that’d be cool… yeah awesome!”
Although we had many thoughts, our topic of choice was women. We discussed the finer points of female anatomy; like “what’s the difference between booty, rump, and a…” (another category that I’m sure you can guess).
We also talked about the most important parts of female anatomy: her teeth and hair. (You all were thinking about some other parts; you perverts!!!)
According to Ben, “it’s all about the Crest White-strip smile & the Soul Glow”
Although we had many trivial conversations, Ben and I talked about real issues as well (shocking bit of trivia… I know).
One of which was the difference between “listening” and “hearing”. Anyone can “hear” your words, but “listening” involves thought & understanding.
Ben was the best “listener” I have ever known.
The best conversation I had with Ben happened when we shared a room for the Hampton fights. It’s funny to recall that night because Coach Greg and I tried to short-sheet Ben’s bed before he slept. Yet Ben seemed to know this and outsmarted us. Ben slept on top of his sheets and never got underneath the covers.
Even though this seemed odd to me the story got even better. Ben did not rest in the bed the way other humans sleep. Ben slept across the bed horizontally with all of his clothes on. I mean his shirt, pants, socks, and even his shoes remained on. Ben even had his feet propped up on a chair to get comfortable.
Ben slept so soundly that the tooth pick in his mouth was still there when he awoke the next morning. He did not move throughout the entire night. That’s how cool Ben was.
Anyway, before we went to bed the first night, Ben and I had a three hour chat about the complications surrounding women.
I told him that I was frustrated with my situation at the time. I said that I found women to be complex beings too difficult to comprehend. I never quite understand them and as a result, I always did something stupid to scare them away.
Ben simply replied “But Skylor, if this journey of love was easy, would it be worth it?”
Ben also told me “The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. If a woman really cares about you, they just know how to push your buttons and anger you. It’s just apart of the bigger plan. You gotta grow from your experiences and not tread water and relive the same mistakes.”
Even though I “heard” Ben, he could tell I didn’t “listen” because I kept complaining about my lady problems.
But Ben calmly continued with “Skylor you have to focus on your own flaws and work on them before you acknowledge and accept her flaws.”
Once again I “heard” Ben, but I did not “listen” to his point. Ben knew I did not grasp his words when I said “Accept her flaws? That’s impossible!”
Ben coolly kept educating me like he was Obi-Wan Kenobi and my name was Luke. He said “Her flaws are a part of who she is. You were drawn to the whole person; and you can’t pick and choose the parts you like. You don’t want a perfect woman. ‘Cause perfect is boring. It is our differences with women that make us strive for improvement. Otherwise we as men would never take a shower, brush our teeth, or put on pants.”
The man was a deep inspiration of spirit and love.
Even though I began the evening ignorant and frustrated, Ben helped understand. He made me grasp the puzzle tucked in a question, wrapped in an enigma, doused with perfume, covered in an overcoat that is woman.
He later finished our conversation with a quote about love that I will remember forever. He looked me right in the face and said “Skylor… a life without love… is kind of like a sandwich without Miracle Whip… it’s just not the same.”
He always knew how to put things in a way my little pea-brain could get.
Over the past couple of days I’ve thought on some important questions about our time here on earth.
Anyway, I think we are here for a reason. I think our purpose is to impact the future and leave the world a better place. I know Ben has accomplished this and more. He touched all of us. Ben made us laugh, Ben made us cry, and Ben gave us a sympathetic ear.
In short, Ben gave us nothing but love.
I was recently asked at work “can you replace someone so special in your life?”
The answer of course is no.
I feel as though NO ONE can fill the shoes of a giant. Ben was that giant.
He was a giant among men who chose not to destroy us mere humans.
You can not fill the giant’s shoes; you can only hope to follow in the footsteps the giant already tread for you here on Earth.
Ben may not have clamored for the spot-light (like some people we know), but he always got our attention.
I know Ben’s relaxing up in heaven. He’s floating on top of his cloud, horizontally, with his shoes still on, and a tooth pick in his mouth.
Ben’s telling us the magic number for abs is and will forever remain…just 2 minutes.
I love you Ben.
Skylor Fitz-Coy
January 24th 2007
My name is Jai Montgomery and Ben was my former supervisor at Suncom Wireless and FRIEND since 1999. He was truly one of the most caring (even though he tried not to show it ha) and helpful people I knew. When I needed his help with things like fixing my car breaks he would say to me "tell me when Baby Girl". He always played tough and tried not to let people get too close but when you were able to sweeze into that space and become his Friend, you saw that he was a 'Big,Tough Cream Puff'. Soft and Sweet and the best friend you could have. If he could do it for you, he would. So it was no problem doing the same for him. AND the funniest.... I could tell stories about him for days that would have anyone in tears because he was just that funny. And that much fun. I would joke him all the time about not knowing how to play the bass guitar because that all he talked about. Well boxing, eating chicken AND the bass. And not to mention The Brothers Johnson :-)
I wanna say so much more about my good good good friend, Benjamin "Jenkins" ( I'm sure he remembers that).... but I just can't right now. Ben when you read all these things all of your friends have written about you, I know you're frowning your face on the outside (like you use to do) but I also know you're smiling on the inside (like you use to do) I LOVE YOU "Bendito"
Jai Montgomery
January 25th 2007
My name is Dawnita Price-Mosley. Ben was my supervisor/friend at SunCom. It touches my heart to see that there are so many people that know what a wonderful man Ben was. So many lives he has touched and so many friends he has made along the way. I have read so many wonderful things about our dear friend and feel lucky to have known him at all. So many heart felt words. “Selfless”, “Positive”, “Articulate”, “Tireless”, “Intelligent” (who will I ask all of my Excel questions to?) and every single one of them is representative of his very being. My heart and prayers go out to his family and every soul he has inspired.
Ben,
My friend and my confidant. My heart is heavy. I really hope you can look down and see the love, admiration, and adoration so many people have for you. You are “DA MAN”. I can still hear your voice “I don’t get sick….I’m a machine”…..Keep playin’ your bass, boy! Oh yeah, I do believe you can box. :o) and now I know your middle name is not “Cleofus”. You will be missed. I love you, BG.
……..I sing because I’m happy. I sing because I’m free. For his eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me.
Dawnita Price-Mosley
January 25th 2007
To Coaches Greg, Jen, Skylor, to Jeff, to Jay, to all who spoke, to all who were there in support, helping in honoring Ben,
I can't accurately convey or express what a since of community and family I felt last night. Beautiful. Jeff you said it of Ben, he was a personification of beauty, he was a beautiful man! I would also say that last night was a beautiful experience. Everyone involved brought a since of honor and duty to the occasion in order to properly pay respects to this man. Interdispersed with the seriousness of the occasion were much needed periods of levity that Ben would have loved. When Coach Greg and Skylor broke into chara cter (Say with slight lisp...the ladies man) we were all floored and Ben would have laughed with us if not led the group in lispy talk.
I also wanted to convey my best to Josh. I had no idea you were room mates with Ben until Friday. Understandably you took it hard last night and it was tough seeing you hurting. Hang tough bro!
American Family. thank you for helping us to honor Ben. It was above and beyond.
Ricky
February 16th 2007
I would like to send a note to say how Ben always made me feel welcome when I first started to come to the program. Coming from England, he would often have a joke with me about the things us Brits get up to. From then I got to know him as a friend.
When we all used to go out as well, Ben always made it fun. I was deeply shocked to hear the news about what happened.
He will be missed as he was always the gentleman.
Greg and Jen and I am sorry for you loss of a good man in your lives.
Dee
March 16th 2007
To and For “My Sweets”
Ben, known as “Sweets” to me, is one of the most compassionate and intelligent men that I have come across in a very long time. I’ve known Ben for over the last 25 years. We met at McKinley High School, where we graduated together and had the opportunity to become re-acquainted a little while ago. It was soooo good to see him again. He is so handsome! No more Jerri-curls; but a distinguished “Silver Fox”. We almost immediately began a friendship, not missing a day of communication with one another since July 15, 2006, which led to the most “extraordinary” love! I was living in Buffalo, NY, where his roots began. Although, he had made very good friends in Virginia, Sweets often told me that he thoroughly enjoyed our connection with his home; it made us able to relate with one another on a different level. He missed that home connection. We had hours and hours of conversation, day after day after day. He was a very insightful man.
When Sweets asked me to move to Virginia, I was completely thrilled! I’ve had aspirations to leave the City of Buffalo for quite some time and I felt this was destiny. We got along so very well and the thought of sharing a life together really gave the both of us a new hope about fully enjoying life again. The trials and tribulations of life (self-inflicted or not) had taken a toll on us and we were in a place where we were going to do what was necessary to conquer success in every area of our lives. We had so many things in common; we thought alike; had the same drives about life; relationship experiences; same ambition, etc. Ben helped me to gain a respect for men that I had lost along the way. He was such a Man! So many men think they are men, but he proved to be a real man to me. I often told him he was my hero. We were perfect for each other! We were very good for one another; made a great team. His spirit was so warm and helpful. His demeanor was so strong and determined. His love was so real and bountiful. Thus, I relocated to Virginia on December 4, 2006. On one of my visits to VA, I remember him introducing me as “the One who got away”. I also remember how I felt when he created an email address ID for me (ygonzalez1). He was always doing things that expressed his love for me, which made me fall in love with him over and over. When I think of all the love and plans we were working on, it seems unfair that he’s gone. Because we were going to “do some things”! I say thank you for all of the cards and phone calls I received. It allowed me to see that Sweets has touched so many people in ways I found so admirable. It made me proud to have chosen him as my significant other. Its one thing for me to know who he was, but quite another to learn how many actually knew him to be who he was. He used to always tell me, “I’m a machine”. Machines can’t feel, and he tried to avoid feelings and emotions. But if you knew Ben, you know he had many heartfelt thoughts and expressions, which concerned him greatly. He just didn’t want you to know it. He wanted everyone else to be alright and he always put himself on the back-burner.
When this feature of the website was created, I thought I’d rush to express some words. But I have been stricken with the sorrowful grief of losing someone, whom I have grown to love very dearly and expected to be with for a longer lifetime. I knew that writing this would be so final. I have had a very hard time accepting his death; it has turned my world upside down. I feel like a great part of me has been eliminated; as you would had you lost your arm, leg, etc. I know it heals with time, but it still feels like that fateful day, January 18, 2007. I miss him sooooo very much!!!
God has a very strange, but definite, way of doing things. We can only trust that He knows why Sweets had to go at this time. I have questioned and questioned, but come to realize that my questioning is somewhat selfish. I want him here. But I don’t have that kind of power or authority… not over his soul. Only God has the plan and the power to implement it. I thank God for being able to share the last 7 months of Ben’s life with him. I know it may seem a short time, but for us it was a lifetime. A time that God purposed for many reasons, I have begun to realize. So, I am grateful and I am honored and privileged - surely love by God for such a gracious experience! Through my anger, I had to look for the good… and then there was joy! Because the Joy of the Lord is my Strength!!! I know God to be fully capable of getting me through this entire situation…. As long as I trust and believe.
Sweets, there is not a moment that goes by that I don’t think of you. Sometimes the pain of losing you is unbearable. Pain heals with time, but memories are forever! There is always something that reminds me of us. You may have left me in the natural sense, but your spirit will be with me forever. I will continue to love you through Ciara and “our grandchildren”. I’m so glad we have each other. She’s wonderful – a lot like her Daddy. I can only hope that one day I’ll meet you again in Heaven….. I just heard you say, “I like that idea, and I do support it!”…. That’s “My Sweets”!!!!!! Love you forever,
Yvette Lucas
P.S. In Motion Warriors, thank you for your beautiful tribute to “My Sweets” (Ben Gonzalez). I know he appreciates all the time, thoughts, expressions and love put into his departure from this life. Love you for it and God Bless You All!